A Day in the Life of Agent Bongo

Day 1: 

They had no idea that I’m a double agent from the ISCRPA (I never did find out what that acronym stands for). The interview was easier than expected, and I didn’t expect to get the job. The guy who was interviewing me was a complete moron. Betty is gonna be angry, because I told her the last mission was my last one. Note to self: Buy Betty some flowers. These guys clearly don’t know what they’re doing. I mean, what kind of spy agency spends money on a public relations expert??

Regardless, I’m having a hard time fitting in. Things are much different here. I met two agents today whose only job it was to give people surveys. What’re you supposed to survey secret agents about??? They have mission satisfaction ratings… I feel like it must be an elaborate prank of some sort. It just all makes me so angry, and I can’t understand how they get funding.

The people I ran into were suspicious. Everyone is too nice. Secret agents aren’t supposed to be nice, they’re supposed to be dark and mysterious. They talk openly about their missions, and there’s no heavy security to be seen anywhere. Also, what’s up with everyone carrying clipboards and paperwork? How much paperwork could there possibly be? Times are changin, but we won’t go down without a fight. I don’t even know what I’m talking about any more. Who am I? Why am I here? What are my goals in life? ….

Sorry, got carried away there. Note to self: Buy that self help book I’ve been putting off. Why am I apologizing to myself? Ah, never mind – I better stay away from that rabbit hole. I shouldn’t be surprised. They hired me for PR, not operations – but I have to find some details about their missions quickly. I’m not gonna last long in the PR department before they find me out.

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